From Fetty Wap to Forklift: Meet the 37 Cat Children With the Craziest Names

Laurent Shinar • Writer and Editor

Jan 30, 2025 3:00 PM EST

The naming game is not a simple one by any means. When it comes to hooman children, parents spend months if not years in preparation for what they might like to name their offspring. Carefully calculating a name that will be unique, appropriate and within societal guidelines. But for feline pawrents the naming game is even tougher, because your options are unlimited by the bounds of social constructs, and you are free to name your cat child whatever you like. That is, so long as you believe that other cats will not understand the name you have given them and therefore will not make fun of them. But if you do believe that cats can understand us, then your task is made massively more difficult, because who knows what names cats think are cool.

Regardless, today we are taking a look at the former kind of pawrent who has no limits upon what they can name their cat child and suffice it to say that things get really weird really fast. From Brick to Bus Driver, these are the names you will never hear being shouted on the street as a cat runs away from its pawrent.

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Well, it is not often that an abstract name like ‘BBQ’ can purrfectly match the cat that was given such a name. Heck, one look at this bad boy, and you can see the exact moment that led to him being given his unique name. A tale of flame grilled steaks, an overzealous kitty and an unattended grill, which resulted in a modestly sized garden fire and the cat getting stuck up a tree from fear, yet adamantly refusing to release the steak which is preventing him from being able to climb down safely.
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Not that anyone should ever condone gambling in any sense of the word, but if you gamble is on adopting a catto from an animal shelter, it might be safe to say that ‘Slot Machine’ might bring you a lot of luck in your search for the purrfect kitty to bring home. Either that or you will find out your chances of winning are very low and completely out of your control.
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